Our desires are narrow, specific, repetitive and opportunistic. We conform to them, not they to us. There’s no benignity in a desire. After a while we start to look like what we want.
Only in a culture that fetishizes the body can a man be described as black or white.
An image of a thing is not the thing. Salvador Dali liked to point this out. Men have an image of themselves—a hive of memories, hopes, fears, regrets, opinions, preferences. There’s no problem with this until we mistake the hive for the honey.
Where the appearance of a self stands in for the Self, there is a ceaseless striving for significance.
Most men misunderstand themselves. They think they are what they appear to be.