Love can only be known apophatically, that is, in terms of what it isn’t. Thus, love is not romance, not loyalty, not emotion, not anything we can say, point to, or believe in. Herein the humility of love. We don’t know what it is.
There is a tendency in men to say what other men say, to believe what other men believe, and to go where other men direct them. We’ll call this expert-itis or sheep mind. Or religion. Or politics. Or armed service. Our unwillingness to stand alone, to be alone, to find ourselves within ourselves, betrays a great fear. And where fear is, love is not.
It is often a variation on the same affliction: a man attacked, disabled or weaponized by his own mind while nursing a belief that the source of his suffering lies outside of himself.
The least plausible basis for action? A finding of right and wrong.
When Hollywood goes to the beach, we get Jaws. When it goes to church, we get exorcism. But sharks are innocent, and we are not possessed by evil spirits. We are possessed by our own minds, by the thoughts we think. Worry is possession.
Men's Work 