Liminality is the state of not knowing how or if a situation will resolve itself. It’s a rite of passage. If wise elders have not prepared us for this rebirth experience and taught us the necessity of relaxing into it, we will almost certainly resist it. Once a pattern of resistance has become established, our embryonic potential for love is lost. We become weirdly animated fossils, waiting for a death that has already happened.
We do not change ourselves by adding to ourselves. More money? More possessions? More experiences? Accumulation prevents what we imagine it facilitates. Real change is radical subtraction, a letting go, swift and sudden.
“And we know that all things work together for good.” Notice this especially: Not a few things or many things but all things. There is an arising consciousness around the world. Old structures are falling away as certain agents of transformation do their level worst to hasten the process.
What happens when the man who has not found himself tries to change himself? Not much, frankly. The new man is not the old man refurbished and improved. He’s the old man dropped.
Men come for counselling because they want something to change. The challenge they face is that for something to change, something needs to die. Change and death are dance partners. What ends here?
Men's Work 