I’ve always had the feeling that I don’t fit in. I felt this as soon as it was possible to feel it, as a very young boy. This feeling of alienation and strangeness has been my constant companion, placing me at odds with a culture whose first rule is “Fit in” and whose second rule is “Do what you’re told.” But this, finally, is where I live. I’ve never not known that the culture is a hoax.
There is a tendency in men to say what other men say, to believe what other men believe, and to go where other men direct them. We’ll call this expert-itis or sheep mind. Or religion. Or politics. Or armed service. Our unwillingness to stand alone, to be alone, to find ourselves within ourselves, betrays a great fear. And where fear is, love is not.
Natural behaviour is spontaneous behaviour, which is free, easy and graced, also unplanned, uncaused and having no obvious relation to external stimuli. Our structures cannot tolerate spontaneity. Observe how a government briefing unfolds.
The fear-based man is cautious, conventional, and conforming. He makes a virtue out of loyalty. Then some crisis happens. Herein his golden opportunity. He will either be re-wilded or driven deeper into fear.
Loyalty is less a virtue than a stand-in for love. Less innocently, it elevates patriotism, punishes the un-conforming and beats the drum for our ceremonies of war.
Men's Work 