Tag Archives: control

Notes on control

We are not in control. Most men don’t understand this. Reason? No credible person sat them down when they were boys and spelled it out.

Knowing I’m not in control, I am a stranger to disappointment and bitterness. I am not what happens; I am to whom it happens.

The responsible man is response-able. He responds to Life. He does not react. Re-action is the forte of the fool. We cannot step into the same river twice.

Blown across the sky

We think we are doing things. Ego says, “I’ve done this!” But we are not doing things. Things are being done through us. Like leaves in autumn, we are being blown across the sky.

No one can teach us to yield. In the region of the heart, we’re autodidacts.

Willpower

Men who are free are disciplined. Discipline comes from the Latin word for pupil. A free man is a learner, an empty bowl. Discipline has nothing to do with self-will. Self-will is self-abuse.

When sex is violence

Sex is violence when it wants something, when it issues from insufficiency or pain.

Some men use sex as a way to assuage feelings of loneliness, to anesthetize jealousy, or to stake a claim. When sex is used like this, as a means of ameliorating our least controlled emotions, of placating an unstable and insecure sense of self, of seeking forgiveness or fixing something, sex is violence.

Sex is violent when sex is repetitive, mechanical or forced. There is no dharma in pharma.

 

Man as disciple

Discipline has nothing to do with subjugation, suppression or standing at attention. It does not mean replacing one pattern of behaviour with another. It means “to learn.”

We must be completely free in order to learn. Freedom begins with the realization of how trapped we are.

The least free are the most conventional.