One has what he wants. The other doesn’t want what he doesn’t have.
“There was nothing attractive about him, nothing that would draw us to him.” The truly exceptional man requires a second look. The word “respect” is derived from the Latin for look again. He doesn’t want anything from you. He has no intention, no agenda.
The essential thing is to relinquish our attachments, our stickiness. This can take a very long time.
My desire to correct you is inhibited by the presence of this log in my eye.
A high-quality mistake is something we learn from, and which we do not repeat. Low-quality mistakes are enervations, unconscious and corrosive, often expressing a weak desire to repeat an experience.