Men who glibly concede they’re “control freaks” typically have great difficulty controlling themselves.
In order for ego to function vigorously, conflict is necessary. This, of course, requires enemies. (Super-inflated egos curate actual lists of enemies.) When Jesus said, “Forgive your enemies,” he meant, Have no enemies.
According to a recent Canadian study, 79 percent of young men and 84 percent of young women report significant sexual problems, including low levels of satisfaction, low desire, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, an inability to achieve orgasm and injurious pain. The study suggests they are having sex not because they want to but because they think they should.
In “should” is the death of innocence.
The reason I want you to change is so that I can avoid the hard work of changing myself.
Anger, resentment, frustration, non-forgiveness—these are projections of something within me onto someone other than me. Projection locates a problem where it cannot be solved. It ensures that the problem does not get solved!
Who benefits from this arrangement? Ego does.
Blaming is our most enduring and devious dysfunction. It germinates in judgement. It is nourished in complaint.
The unsupervised mind has two preoccupations: past and future. When we think about the past, the memory function is activated. We become gooey and unhappy. When we think about the future, the anticipation function is activated. We become meth-like and reactive. When the mind develops a certain ambidexterity of dysfunction—oh, man, what a mess.
Witness this. It’s mind abuse. Come home.