We cannot change ourselves by trying to change ourselves. Siddhartha Gautama tried all manner of austerities and penances before quitting them all and becoming the Buddha. Orchids make no effort. Neither shall we.
If I am chronically wanting this or fearing that or reacting emotionally, then my life task is fairly simple: Unlearn everything. Perhaps I should feel thankful that it doesn’t matter where I start.
Men want to make progress on the inner journey but they don’t want to give anything up. They want to add some notion of progress to what they already have. But there is no progress! There is only giving up.
Acquisition, we are taught from a very early age. Disposition, we learn for ourselves. Of course, in order to learn subtraction, a teacher is necessary. Not to worry. Life will provide all of the instructors we need.