Will the last person to leave the church please turn out the lights.
To cultivate a quiet mind, continuously observe the babble of thought in the head. Notice the repetition and negativity. See how the aim of these thoughts is to trigger an emotional response, how they parade their own importance. Dispassionate attention slows the mind. The space between thoughts expands.
Yes, be a space for emotions, rejecting only those that have been deliberately induced. The essential thing is not to identify with them—in effect, to become an emotion. The sky is not a cloud and we are not emotions. They come. They go.
The really important stuff isn’t taught in school because, well, school thinks it isn’t important. Not to lay blame, just to say: My most challenging clients, the hardest to work with, are intellectuals.
The only way to defeat anger is by surrendering to it. Anger resisted is anger invigorated and prolonged. We resist anger when we rationalize it or apportion blame. This empowers anger, turning it into a marauding perma-guest, an entirely negative entity whose sole aim is the complete destruction of our inner peace. Surrender is accomplished by accepting how awful anger feels and then by consciously sinking straight into it, breathing right into its roiling, viral center, doing that for as long as it takes. There’s an alchemical gift at the end of this. The gift isn’t received. It’s revealed.