Some men lose themselves at the centre of the wheel. We cannot say they are inactive; they’re just not moving. (What does not move is not noticed.) Other men, peripherals, are flying around on the rim. They’ve got a bucket list. They’re collecting experiences.
Some men operate from a deep desire to be comfortable. We call these men conflict avoiders.
Men with the biggest egos are also the most hostile. Hostility may be projected or repressed. If projected, it’s impossible to mistake—somebody’s getting blamed, shamed, laughed at or shot. Repressed anger is less obvious, but it too displays itself, often as impatience, judgment, criticism, passive-aggression, false jollity or do-gooding. Perhaps fearing that something worse lies beneath it, men are generally incurious about their anger. On a functional level, they’re basically OK with it.
One perfect summer afternoon I was blasting along an empty stretch of Montana highway when the rear tire on my motorcycle blew out. This was an unsettling experience. What did I learn? I learned that angels don’t look like angels.
Here’s something I’ve never heard a man say: “I feel like I need to think more.” Men know the lure of less. They’re generally aware that much of what goes on upstairs is nuttier than a squirrel’s diaper.