Love does not apologize. Or make mistakes. Jesus never said, “I’m sorry.”
A high-quality mistake is something we learn from, and which we do not repeat. Low-quality mistakes are enervations, unconscious and corrosive, often expressing a weak desire to repeat an experience.
A mistake I learn from is not a mistake. I wouldn’t know that anger is a derangement and regret a waste of energy unless I’ve laid with both of them, known them under the covers. There are other ways to learn but none as terrifically good as mistakes.
It’s not a mistake to make a mistake—unless, of course, it’s repeated. Our experiences don’t bring us to the mat; repetition does.
Step Four in AA’s addiction recovery program invites us to make a fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves. The requirement of this inventory is but minimally met if its only yield is a laggard’s list of shortcomings and missteps. The real work in Step Four is to identify and investigate our dependencies. When a dependency is discovered, the remedial act cannot be second-guessed, negotiated or dithered over. We take an axe to its root.