Tag Archives: patience

Bad at not knowing

Men are good at a lot of things. But perhaps we are not so good at not knowing.

Good at fixing things. Not so good at holding the questions. At holding them until the questions answer themselves. Until the baby, held with infinite tenderness and depthless patience, stops crying, begins to sob, then falls asleep. (Oh, fatherhood!)

I have asked men, “Have you ever heard a woman say, “Move on.” Always, the same answer. No, they have never heard a woman say that. Why, then, would this be their go-to advice for women?

Women have the ability not to know things, to take their rest in the middle of a mystery. A man whose natural bias for action has not been bridled by good teaching is a loose cannon. He’s dangerous.

Love needs one thing only: It needs us not to know. It needs us out of the way.

So then: Get out of the way.

Imagine, my brother, that someone has whispered this into one of your ears.