Tag Archives: pornography


You can consume pornography or you can participate in an intimate relationship. Go with your preference. Pick one or pick the other. But choose, fool: You can’t cross the lake in two boats.

Not me

We are quick to see violence in others, slow to see it in ourselves. Humanity is steeped in violence. Are we not human? Where in the teapot is there no taste of tea? Ambition is violence. Winning is violence. Sport and fandom are violent. Wanting is violence. Pornography, politics, poverty and religion are violent. Putting the young in uniforms, training them to kill—this is not violence? Our penitentiaries legalize criminal behaviour in the name of good government. Women are paid less than we are. Our daughters are assaulted, raped, murdered, disappeared. But no, I am not violent. Not me.

Breaking habits

A pornography habit will eventually chew the heart out of a relationship. There are more zombie marriages in the culture than we can know.

Habits are hard to break. (When was the last time you broke one?)

A man’s habits obscure his primary fault.

Obedience training

Watch closely as a man trains his dog. All of his attention flows into the dog. Soon enough, the dog is beautifully, wonderfully trained. He orbits his master.

A well-trained mind functions exactly like that. At night, it sleeps quietly by the bed. It declines, during the day, to chase after squirrels. It looks straight ahead.

A man is the net result of the attention he gives to his mind. Attention is the zafu on which mindfulness sits. We need the mindfulness movement. Today it is perhaps the case that more men give more attention to their cellphones than they give to themselves.

Pornography is a big issue for men. But really, it’s a symptom. The problem is an untrained mind. Minds become befouled and confused by an absence of attention. Where attention is, purity also is.

Attention does not work tomorrow. It works now. Let your breath carry you into the purity of the one pathless moment.