Tag Archives: projection

Men and anger

Men with the biggest egos are also the most hostile. Hostility may be projected or repressed. If projected, it’s impossible to mistake—somebody’s getting blamed, shamed, laughed at or shot. Repressed anger is less obvious, but it too displays itself, often as impatience, judgment, criticism, passive-aggression, false jollity or do-gooding. Perhaps fearing that something worse lies beneath it, men are generally incurious about their anger. On a functional level, they’re basically OK with it.


An image of a thing is not the thing. Salvador Dali liked to point this out. Men have an image of themselves—a hive of memories, hopes, fears, regrets, opinions, preferences. There’s no problem with this until we mistake the hive for the honey.