We are not changed, healed or transformed by making an effort. Even as a concept, efforting-ing is exhausted. Change happens when we drop the conceit of doer-ship, expunge ambition and welcome what happens.
We have the same mission—to please ourselves. Perversely, right from the beginning, we are trained to please others: Mum and Dad, teachers and coaches, priests and politicians. People-pleasers have a slave mind. This is little understood.