The problem with apologies is that they’re self-serving babble, a concoction of words. Words are not the truth. They may point to the truth, as a finger to the moon, but they are not themselves what they point to. Love acts. To know a man, to see what he really believes, watch what he does. Or doesn’t do.
Real change is last of all an intellectual exercise. It is first of all a heart full of tears.
The inner journey begins with a feeling of sharp remorse. Richard Rohr calls this the ‘Oh, shit!’ moment. It happens when we’re eyeball-to-eyeball with our primary fault.
Can a man change his character? Yes, provided he sees himself as he is and can feel in his paper flesh the sting of a cauterizing remorse.
Men who love themselves do not contradict (from the Latin for speak against) themselves. Self-criticism is truly the grievous error. Many have perished out there, on the hot sands of their own contempt.
Men's Work 