If I knew myself to the innermost point of my being, I would not second-guess myself, doubt myself, criticize myself, improve myself, compare myself or forgive myself. And I would never ever apologize.
What happens when the man who has not found himself tries to change himself? Not much, frankly. The new man is not the old man refurbished and improved. He’s the old man dropped.
We cannot change ourselves by trying to change ourselves. Siddhartha Gautama tried all manner of austerities and penances before quitting them all and becoming the Buddha. Orchids make no effort. Neither shall we.
Self-improvement is fine but it’s froth on the coffee. The essential thing is to take no direction, have no strategy, be guided from within.
The idea isn’t to change yourself but to accept yourself. Acceptance changes everything.