Counselling men

It is often a variation on the same affliction: a man attacked, disabled or weaponized by his own mind while nursing a belief that the source of his suffering lies outside of himself.

Nine ways to suffer

Enneagram teaching posits nine passions (from passio, meaning ‘to suffer’). These are anger, pride, deceit, envy, greed, fear, gluttony, lust and, taking up the rear, sloth. Most men assume their dominant passion is lust. Most men are wrong. Fear-based men vastly outnumber men who love to fight. We dance with each other. Lust leads. Fear follows.

High dudgeon

Everything happens as it must. No exceptions. When I say ‘This is unacceptable!’ I’ve unfriended Life. Vastly more suffering is caused by taking offence than giving offence.

Decoding

Suffering is thought-based, a mental activity and therefore unnecessary. I suffer because it placates my anxiety about letting go and moving on. Pain, by contrast, is not optional. The body wants my attention.

Body problems

For as long as I do not know myself, for as long as I think I’m a body, I will be fretful and problem plagued. If I know myself, I have no problems.